So it is almost time to go and it is hard to leave WA. M is clueless. G realizes what is happening but is doing really well (so far) focusing on the positive of the new house and new fun and being back with daddy. E is having the hardest time; he has really grown a lot here and made some really strong friendships. He is just devastated about leaving his friends and LOVES his teacher...even I am having a hard time leaving his teacher. I have had several long, tearful talks with him about how feeling sad is OK. Feeling sad shows that we came here knowing no one and we made good friends and got involved in the community and we appreciated the differences of this place and we enjoyed many adventures. He still struggles though and spends more time alone than he used to and just wants to be someplace quiet-- very unlike E. The only positive idea he has latched onto is that this is a chance for a fresh start where no one knows anything embarrassing about him and he can reinvent himself.
I am struggling with this too. It will be great to be back with D, but leaving here is very hard. We did come here on a completely impulsive adventure. Not knowing anyone and doing it on our own and everything is so different (doesn't mean it is all better, just different). Leaving friends is always hard but this seems harder because they have been my support system for the past few months and they love my boys which leads straight to my heart. And this place is beautiful...breathtakingly, amazingly beautiful. Lush and green with the magical combination of mountains and water and nature all around. Where else can you take the long way home and see deer, a fox, seals, an eagle, and horses? Where else can you try to fall asleep to coyotes screaming in the night? Where else does the sun set at 10:30 in the summer? Where was I going with this writing??? That's kind of how I feel about this move. I can't see the other side because the whole thing seems a bit caught up in a house unsold and leaving a place and friends I love and moving into some uncertainty on the other side. I am having a hard time being excited right now and hope D is prepared to gently help us through our sadness when he comes into town and help us find the excitement about the next step.
B
1 comment:
This makes me so sad. I have made a couple of big moves but they have always been made because I was ready to go. There was never more sadness than anticipation because I was always more than ready to move on.
How hard it must be to be moving for good reasons but not necessarily because you are all ready to go.
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